): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
