if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
