So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
