there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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