I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
