Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
