His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
