walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
