She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You're like the curious george of whores
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
