If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
