So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
