feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
