Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
