She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
