You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
