Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
