I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
