ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
