is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
