My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
