I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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