he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
