ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
