i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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