I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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