Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
