He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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