Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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