sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
