Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Enjoy the penises
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
