Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The feeling are messing with the penis
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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