Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
