I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
