Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Actions speak louder than pants.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
