I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
