Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
