Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
