Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
