I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
