why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
