Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
