well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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