I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
