ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
