remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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