but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You're like the curious george of whores
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
