i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
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