I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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