So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
