There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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