I need help removing her.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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