dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
