id be glad to
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
